This is a top-secret memo to all Synconation readers and writers. Unfortunately, I am not capable of understanding “Electronic Mail” so, try to keep this under the table if you stumbled onto this article by mistake.
Early this August, I will be sending two operatives to a gathering in Kansas City:
Brenton Crozier B-Town and Lil’ Coco Jeremy Alan Gould. These agents will then attempt to blend in with the much younger crowd and begin what is tentatively titled “Operation Enduring Kansas”.
This will begin on the morning of August 5th and end three days later, provided our team is not discovered.
1) Make it through airport checkpoints without being discovered
You would think this is easy, but it is a common assumption that people have typically had no reason to travel to Kansas – until now.
Again, you would think this is easy but Lil’ Coco is a master of disguise and can sometimes appear as a productive member of society.
3) Find accommodations
Finding accommodations for two single, adult males over 30 can be difficult, as the room deposit may be inflated. We will also require two safes, a hot tub, a cold tub, and a darkroom.
4) Acquire observation equipment
Both Samsung and Sprint will covertly supply us with tools for recording any and all occasions.
5) Attempt to interview the following targets of interest:
- The Black Keys
- The Flaming Lips
- Major Lazer
- Best Coast
- Girl Talk
- Arctic Monkeys
- OK Go
and any other artists in our periphery.
Stay alert and on the lookout for more updates as we continue to plan Synconation’s invasion of Kansas. It is rumored that a video recording of this operation assignment has been leaked. We hope to confirm this soon.