It happens. People become obsessed with musicians. I think the first occurrence was with Franz Lizst. These days, artists are much more accessible and it’s become easier to develop a seemingly intimate relationship with celebrities. Hell, if I didn’t think this kind of thing was a remote possibility, I’m not sure I would have bothered picking up a guitar (note: this is the exception and not the rule).
Let’s take a look at this freakshow!
5) Jeff Turner and Kelly McCormick – Tiffany
I didn’t know who Tiffany was until I watched this movie, which really speaks to the insane devotion these subjects have. These two are really the dynamic duo of stalkers. Jeff has Ausperger’s and has had legal action taken against him a number of times. Kelly is intersexed (not that it makes her particularly worse, it’s just another bullet point in my argument that people who like Tiffany have some kind of baggage.) They star in a documentary (watch it instantly on Netflix if you dare) that actually puts them together in a hotel room for a Tiffany concert. I can’t deny I would have greenlit this film, too.
4) Shannon Gaga
In my humble opinion, Lady Gaga isn’t particularly attractive in the first place. So, how do we take this to the next level? Inflate her to 300 lbs of course. Shannon Gaga recently enjoyed some pseudo-celebrity with a radio interview, some college press, and loads of love (hate) from the interwebz. As with most of these subjects, it’s hard to pick on them as their intentions are quite genuine. However, Shannon Gaga is also intent to turn me into Helen Keller as I am forced to both destroy my eardrums and gouge my eyes via her horrific voice and Beth-Ditto-body-type. Enjoy?
3) Chris Cocker and Britney Spears
I felt I would be negligent not to include the most obvious personality here. I don’t need to refresh your memory. Currently, he’s planning on “self-releasing” (giggidy) his own album of garbage. I just noticed that at least one person from each entry on this list challenges gender stereotypes.
2) Humanbeing151 and P. Diddy
This one is actually scary. Humanbeing151 on YouTube recently deleted his collection of videos documenting his extensive collection of pleas and songs written in notebooks and stored in rubbermaid containers, shoeboxes, etc. throughout his entire home. At one point, he was offering $150,000.00 for an audience with the man himself (yeah surrrre). He continuously refers to Sean Combs as “Mr. Diddy” in writing, begging him to meet. Luckily, my soulmate (?) downloaded his home tour and re-uploaded before it was removed.
1) Jay Herrod and Selena Gomez
I’ve seen an episode or two of Wizards of Waverly Place. I won’t argue that Selena Gomez is kind of a fox. And she’s really snippy in that show too, which I like. However, Mr. Jay Herrod eclipses me without question. He is a middle-aged Texas native who is in love with Ms. Gomez. He has to wear skirts because he easily develops heat rash in pants. He claims to be a comedian (although I couldn’t find footage of him performing in a club). Perhaps the weirdest thing (and acknowledging this is even kind of weird in itself, which brings us into some kind of infinite loop of bullshit) is that he uses a microphone in most of his uploads. Is he transferring from VHS to his computer? Were these videos made in the past and intended for a Selena Gomez of a previous generation? I wish, but no. Please, please, please browse the rest of his collection.
